I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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