Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
