I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
