based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize