Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
