HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
