similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
