..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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