Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Jerry, you need to find god
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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