dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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