Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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