I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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