Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
my liver is dry heaving
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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