Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
