I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
