just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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