If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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