I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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