He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just pee around me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
