Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
