I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
