I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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