Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize