At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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