I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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