I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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