I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
This toilet bowl is my home.
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