Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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