do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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