well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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