Moan for me like Helen Keller
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
