the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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