From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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