I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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