four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
