wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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