the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
