i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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