i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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