his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
