I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
