Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
