Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
