I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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