he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
