I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize