So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
