Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
