I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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