That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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