my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
im six kinds of drunk right now
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
