what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
