I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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