She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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