i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
