the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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