I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it was like eating out sand paper
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
