i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
