he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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