dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
why is half of my head shaved?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
