I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Randomize
