Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
