I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We have started to decorate penises.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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