she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
